Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
smell my finger.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
