At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this boner is exhausting
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
