i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
