I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
