sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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