You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My dick has a subreddit
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize