two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize