Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
