Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
