I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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