We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
