is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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