I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
