God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
