I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
