I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
