i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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