are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize