he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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