If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
