Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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