Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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