Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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