when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
