i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
