She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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