I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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