I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize