I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
