She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
