Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
