Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
