You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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