I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
3 2 1 whiskey
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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