I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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