i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
