It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
