reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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