Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think I have vodka in my lungs
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize