So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
