I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize