i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
