Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
