New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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