dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
