perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
