yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
