Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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