I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think my tv is drunk
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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