Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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