I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
