Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
