I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They have beer where we have blood.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dick very happy bro
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
