His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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