Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
