Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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