Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
