dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
