He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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