Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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