Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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