would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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