the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
