either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
