if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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