youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
