Fuck appropriateness.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
