You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
