That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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