Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
